Thursday, June 5, 2008

The only good bug is a dead bug!!!

It's a pathetic thing when all I can find to write about are bugs!! I never thought that the hateful little things would become such an integral part of my life, but when creepy-crawlies 'bring home the bacon', you have the tendency to fixate on them, just a little. I start out every day in the world of insects. The minute the phone rings for the first time, early in the morning, to the last call, late at night (and sometimes in the middle of the night), I am sucked right into this netherworld of nasty creatures. I really don't know how I ended up here! I WAS a teacher. I WAS a musician. I WAS a seamstress and a lot of other normal things. NOW....I'm the 'bug lady'. I hate bugs. The only good bug is a dead bug and I do my job to make sure that my part of the world is rid of as many of them as is humanly possible. I specifically hate spiders, moths and june bugs. These three insects can send me into hysteria in a split second, especially if they are found within a foot of my person. Spiders love to lurk in hidden places, just waiting for the chance to sink their fangs into a poor unsuspecting human. They creep along, skulking in corners, rushing across floors right in front of bare feet and dangling in front of your face as you walk under light fixtures. HORRID CREATURES!! Moths, on the other hand, with their ugly, fuzzy bodies, will congregate outside your door and lie in wait for you to turn on the porch light. As soon as that light comes on, the head moth gives the command over his headset to all other fliers and every moth within striking distance will dive bomb you and harass you as you run for cover. And JUNE BUGS....they are just about the stupidest bug in the world. They should never be allowed to fly. They don't watch where they are going and they can end up ANYWHERE!! Just this week, I thought there was a tag inside my blouse that was sticking me in the side. I never remembered being stuck with a tag there, before, and it was an old blouse. When I turned up the hem to look, it was a ridiculous June bug who had gotten WAY off course, there, somewhere! Believe me, he died a violent death for his stupidity!! So, while I may have to live in the world of insects everyday of my life, I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE 'EM!!! I take sadistic pleasure in knowing that I am responsible for the early demise of many of the nasty things, because.....the only good bug is a dead bug!!! Buggie